The Year of Firsts…..

Some days when you think you are on an even plain, the world, the past, the present just come rushing in and your world gets turned upside down.  Today I was reading Facebook posts and realized that a friend was beginning her year of firsts.  She just experienced her first birthday without her Dad.  She is just beginning her 365-day journey.  My heart aches for her.  I wish I could give her pearls of wisdom that would make this journey easier.  Sadly, I have NONE.  I was struck by something she said…she cried and then she laughed.  Maybe I do have one, as time goes on you laugh and then you cry.  You laugh because you feel them with you and you cry because you don’t.
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I am in the time of year where I lost two of most important people in my life.  My friend’s post made it so real today.  While I try not to focus on the day but my body knows, my heart knows.  I find such joy in my memories.  Often I find myself laughing out loud.  The sadness comes in knowing there are memories that will never be.  It makes me sad for me, the people who cared deeply for them and the people that never had the opportunity to really know them.  I find great comfort in knowing that I feel them with me, laughing, crying, supporting and guiding me.  OK, maybe I have two pearls of wisdom…allow yourself to feel them.  They are there.